I’ve heard working moms often say, “I could never be at a stay at home mom. I would get so bored.” OR “I just like to work, I don’t know how women stay at home.”
First off, let me preface by saying that I don’t think there is a right or wrong. It’s what works best for the family.
But I have been asked on more than one occasion how I make staying at home work for our family (aside from finances). Especially by women who do really well with their career, ones who thrive from being challenged by working outside the home. Ones who would like to consider staying at home but just are not sure if they can thrive from doing so.
I say yes. Yes you can thrive, if staying home with your kids is what you want to choose, then there is a way. But it isn’t without effort and knowing yourself. First off, you need to know what makes you thrive. For me it goes like this…
1. First up, ROUTINE. That is KEY for us to do well the whole day. Routine is vital for ME to thrive. If we didn’t have a routine set in place, then I may never get out of my pajamas. I probably would sit around all day, not knowing exactly what my plan is. I would feel worthless and as if I’m just trying to survive. Although there will be some days I am in “survival” mode, I want most days to be in “thrive” mode. We do the same thing almost every day:
- 7:00- Wake up, coffee (me), breakfast
- 9:00- Go to the Y and exercise
- 10:30- Play date or errands
- 12:00- lunch
- 1:00-3:30 Naps (I embroider/sew/clean while kids nap )
- 3:30- 5:00 Play at home (typically) & chores for me
- 5:00- Dad comes home!
- 6:00- Dinner
- 7:15- Bath
- 7:30- Read/pray/bed
2. Secondly, COMMUNITY. I need other moms. I am someone who feels encouraged just by being around other people throughout the day. I like to call it, “mothering in community.” I notice that if I go days without being around other moms, I start to become sad, lonely, and anxious. This also affect my mothering negatively. I want to be an intentional mom to my kids. I want to be intentional with their care, love, and discipline, and I have realized that I am at my best when I have been encouraged by others throughout the week. Plus, Addie loves playing with other kids. It’s good for her to learn social skills like how to share, serve, and love others.
3. EXERCISE. Not only do I love it, but Addie also loves going to the Y and gets excited about going. Normal weeks I exercise 5-6 days. I know this is on the heavy side, and I definitely don’t think exercising this much is for everyone! However, I have learned that exercise keeps me mentally sharp, physically able to hang with my kids, and emotionally stable. If I go a few days without it, I can tell. It really affects me. Consistent exercise makes me sane! It makes me happy (hello endorphins!)…and we all know a happy wife (and mom) equals a happy life ;).
These three things really make a difference for me as a SAHM. Before I figured this out for myself, there would be days when I would have no motivation to do anything. It would take me HOURS to get out of my PJ’s and do something productive.
This is what works for us! Hoping you find ways to thrive and not just survive 🙂